As you walk this road always test what your taught

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“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad the way leading to destruction, and many are those entering into it. But Small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and few are those finding it.” Matthew 7:13-14 Berean Standard Bible

It was not too long ago I was walking what I thought was the narrow road, only I found myself falling off the broad path and onto the narrow road. It wasn’t but 11 months ago that all changed when my eyes were open to Biblical truth. There had been moments throughout my childhood, adolescents, and early adulthood that I heard bits of the truth but wasn’t sure what to believe. At the ripe old age of 9 the invitation to come to know Jesus was presented to me at Faith Tabernacle by Pastor Cory Barker. This was of course during a revival in the Summer of 1987, as this full choir was singing, “Golden Crown” with such passion and gusto. I had gone to children’s camp with the Baptist church, after someone sponsored me. Then going to camp with the IPHC, after running away from a church during Happy Goodmen Concert. I was already familiar with people telling me how “special” I was by the time I was in Bible college. I was attending church my aunt and uncle attended, only being told again that I’d be a powerful speaker, a children’s pastor, and doing great work for the kingdom. This was at Assemblies of God Church. While in Bible college I was the Intercessory Prayer Leader, in choir, and learning the Bible in its context, all the while struggling with my faith, what I believed, and why God even allowed me to attend college. I never believed that I was special, nor did I ever think that I would go back to my old ways years after I had thought I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.

I was not aware of all the New Thought teachings that influenced me, the dreams, visions, I was told was from God, were just detours in the false teachings that had been instilled in me from men and women I thought were of God. I watched TBN with family, I saw Billy Graham preaching in crusades, and listened to Benny Hinn, Paul and Jan Crouch, Jack Van Ipy, John Hagee, and many more thinking they were preaching the truth. I was sorely misled and warned by a few people throughout early adulthood. The first warning was from a co-worker at Wal-Mart Super center in Oklahoma City, the second came when a discussion was being had in the Bell Center at Southwestern College of Christian Ministries in Bethany, Oklahoma. It was then I realized I had been sold to something that wasn’t true. When I started asking questions, I was told I was clueless, naive, and shouldn’t continue school. Thankfully, I had a friend who supported me in continuing my education. If it hadn’t been for Sarah Tarpley I would have never continued and met some people who really knew what they believed.

My struggle to understand what I believed happened during my Junior year at Southwestern, I was in Dr. Terry Tramel’s Roman’s class. The scripture, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” Haunted my mind and it had for a few years before I even attended Bible college. I chewed on this verse and another in Matthew, “All are called, but few are chosen.” My heart ached to know what these scriptures meant and all I wanted was to know why they affected me so much. I got the answer in January of 2022 when I was listening to Justin Peters Clouds Without Waters. It was the struggle with my purpose, and supposed “special calling” that caused the confusion I had with Romans and Matthew.

Four years earlier, I was living with my mother, and we weren’t getting along. I had been working for a company who cared for the aging community. It was there that I started walking away from God. As I look back now, I see where my error started; thinking I had to fix my family before I could ever be taken seriously as a minister of the gospel, going into Psychology to fix those issues, and fixing my beliefs on a worldly doctrine. I had not established my beliefs on a solid foundation as I had thought. This led to me getting into a relationship with a woman I had met at work. I knew I had fleshly romantic tendencies towards women, this coming from years of sexual abuse from older sister. I was still broken and questioning. I continued telling myself that my thoughts were negative and not of God, but none of Joyce Meyers Battle Field of the Mind worked to help me deal with this delusion I had that only women found me attractive. Therefore, the battle was lost when I allowed my fleshly desires to be with someone, anyone to prove that I had worth.

In 2016 I was enamored with this woman; she spoke what I believed was truth. I thought I was falling in love with her, and she made me feel like I knew what I was talking about. I had gained this false confidence in myself and didn’t realize the pit I was about to fall in to. After months of fights with my mother and arguments before work I decided to leave my mother’s house in August of 2017. Little did I know this would lead to my relationship with this woman to go from casual to serious. I moved in with her in Charlotte, NC after living in and out of hotels and her god sister’s house. My health was already compromised due to years of malnutrition, a botched surgery in 2004, and episodes of Pancreatitis for over 12 years, and the casual drinking I promised I would never go back to. I cannot blame anyone but myself for the issues I struggled to let go of or the situation I placed myself in.

During my time with this woman, I was drinking, partying, listening to “The Medium” on TV, listening to very sexualized rap music, I allowed these small stones that were placed on your wrist that somehow was supposed to put you back in balance with Shakra, doing active listening to the so-called Holy Spirit, and remote writing. I was in hotels with gay men and women, going to gay clubs, and went to Dominican Republic for my 40th birthday where all I did was drink myself into a drunken stupor. My anxiety was twice as bad when in this relationship and I became so depressed by my situation that in February of 2020 I tried to commit suicide. I called a friend and told her what I was thinking, she came late that night and took me to the hospital where I committed myself to the Mental health hospital. That whole week in the mental health hospital gave me an eye full of destroyed lives. This wasn’t the first time I had seen a psychiatrist for these past issues, and it frustrated me that this was still the issue I was fighting with. One afternoon at the hospital a Baptist minister came to talk with us about Jesus. Afterwards I pulled him aside and asked if he wouldn’t mind giving me a list of churches. He gave me a few and encouraged me to go as soon as I got out of the hospital.

It hadn’t been but a month when I got the call for an interview with a company that worked with Autistic children. My thought at the time, was God was giving me my dream. I had yet gotten that this wasn’t from God, it was another false presentation to detour me from the truth. A friend had gotten me involved with Pastor Kim Jones AKA Real talk Kim. At the time I had not been aware of the New Apostolic Movement or that the Name it and claim it was now called Word of Faith Charismatic Movement, but a lot of what I heard sounded similar, but I just wasn’t thinking it could be what I had learned earlier, nor could they still be falling into the TBN tradition. I overlooked it because I simply just needed a word from God to get me out of the situation, I had gotten myself into. I was still not taking responsibility of my actions and it was about to lead me to yet another dead end. During the time I was listening to Real Talk Kim and Steven Furtick, Ryan Lestrange, Amanda and Aaron Crabb, and many more. I lost my job with the company I had dreamt of working for. The Pandemic caused a lot of issues, losing the job of a lifetime caused me to question what was it I did to deserve this, was I not good enough, did I lose my faith? I had hoped my life would change after repenting for my homosexual lifestyle, boldly telling my testimony to others that it is possible for God to deliver you from sin, and that I had truly changed. I was no longer blaming anyone for what happened to me, I was on this road to recovery with medication and therapy for Clinical depression, Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and ADHD. However, I still had a long road ahead of me and trials that I had yet to experience.

Two years later I was living in Oklahoma, still not sure why God had opened doors for me to move to Oklahoma in a situation that he could have left me in. Instead, God got me to see what I needed to see. Yes, I am a sinner and in great need of a savior and while living my life I have learned one thing I am called and chosen. Four years ago, God saved me, chose me to serve him and to live my life as a slave to Him and not a slave to sin. In January of 2022, I woke up Berean determined to teach others to turn away from the false teachings of New Age, New Thought, Gnosticism, Mysticism, Progressive Christianity, New Apostolic Reformation, and Word of Faith/Prosperity, and Psychology in the church. These things that these men and women preach, teach, prophesy, write etc… is a lie. It is harmful to your walk with Christ, and it is destructive. These men and women do not have a special anointing and they do not have a special line to God. The Bible warns of this, that in last days people will gather to themselves teachers and preachers that they agree with.

The Warning no one will listen to

It is a sad state in the Evangelical Church that we have allowed bad theology like, seeker friendly, purpose driven, declare and decree, vision leadership, apostate teachings like we are in the “New paradigm shift,” “shifting into an Apostolistic movement,” breakthroughs, having a vision or dream for your life, have your best life now, seeking out miracles, speaking in tongues, telling your congregation’s to ignore family and friends who are warning them of danger, because the enemy is using them to dismantle their calling, and my absolute favorite “being to spiritually mind to be any earthly good,” and generational curses. These and many other types of beliefs or sayings are false. There is a very exhaustive list of theological saying that are false and destructive to your walk with Christ. And will be discussed in other articles as we moved toward getting to know the Bible in its context.

It is easy to ask why anyone should do apologetics or discernment ministry, when the Bible clearly states it will happen one way or other? It is like stating that someone is “letting one thing go from one ear and out the other.” Discernment is using your head and not believing what your told, as the reverse is believing what you’re told about a subject without doing the research and finding out if it is true. How many times have we heard, “letting a word go in one ear and out the other” Geoffrey Chaucer’s Poem ‘Troilus and Criseyde’ 1385, but the originator of this saying was a Roman Orator Quintilian “The things he says flow right through the ears.” This was imagery of that of an empty head, with no brain to absorb the information that was imparted to another (In One Ear and out the other, Grammarist Idiom 2022). The warning no one will listen to is all due to the lack of discernment, not wanting to hear the truth because we want what we want. Being selfish humans is brought upon by our own sin nature. We cannot hope to obtain salvation through our works or our so-called good deeds. It doesn’t work that way and if we continue on the road, we are all on it will lead us to destruction.

There are scriptures that clearly state, “The spirit clearly says that in later times some will depart from the faith devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, influenced by the hypocrisy of liars, whose consciences are seared with a hot iron.” 1Timothy 4:1 ESV. Again, in 2 Timothy 4:3-5 ESV states, “For a time is coming where people will not endure sound teachings but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers that suite their passions and turn away from listening to truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” Paul stated this to Timothy as a warning and as to teach him